The power of lyrics.

One of my favorite songs right now has to be Down in the Valley by The Head & The Heart. It always comes onto my Mumford & Sons Pandora station (which is probably one of the best stations you could ever have) and the first time I heard it I just connected with it. I am a huge believer in the power of music, all elements of it, and the ability it has to reach us on a deeper level. My favorite line in this particular song is only used like three times, once towards the beginning and then as the last line, but it just stops me in my tracks every time. When I say the line, or even think about it, I use it as a prayer:

“Lord, have mercy on my rough and rowdy ways.”

Much like I shared in my first blog with my journal entry claiming how much I’ve fallen short, this happens every day. I cuss too much, I think negative thoughts, and I let doubt creep into my mind when I’m left alone with my thoughts. Guess what? I love the taste of hard cider, if you give this girl a Magners on draft you will have a forever friend, even a simple Angry Orchard, Woodchuck, or Crispin would do. Sometimes I covet other people’s material possessions. Despite my introverted, quiet nature, I have friends that will deny the fact that I don’t even know how to control my volume.

The fact of the matter is: I do stupid shit. Repeatedly. Even when I know that it’s stupid, again and again I defy the voice in my head telling me to stop. Am I trying to reduce the number of dumb things I do? Yes. Does it work? Sometimes, sure.

But there’s good news to be heard to all you wayward wanders like myself. God shows us his unending mercy every day. ALL DAY. ERRY DAY.

Lamentations 3:22-23 “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (NRSV)

Can I get an AMEN? Don’t feel guilty when you fall short, don’t punish yourself over the small things that you do that maybe aren’t always the best. Because all have fallen short, but God doesn’t punish. He sent us his Son to make sure that while we are humans on Earth there is enough forgiveness and mercy to go around…and around…and around.

Anchors away! 

Water to Wine. Yes, please!

“Cause I heard Jesus, he drank wine and I bet we’d get along just fine.”
Heart Like Mine, Miranda Lambert

Last night was my second Sunday at a new church; I’ve recently moved to a new city and am excited to say that I’m gaining a true community at a local church. It’s a bit different than I’m used to but different is good. Different sidetracks boring. This blog is going to loosely relate back to our Pastor’s sermon last night because it spoke to me to the point of being stuck in my mind twenty-four hours later.

Christians don’t always get the best reputation. Now, this sentence alone makes my spiral off into so many different directions that I couldn’t begin to count them. Most of them will probably pop up in future blogs. But for the sake of this blog, let’s narrow this down: Christian’s don’t always get the best reputation when it comes to being fun and lively. It’s true, so many Christians take themselves too seriously and look at all the ‘rules’ we have to follow rather than celebrate the gift we’ve been given.

When we take ourselves too seriously we don’t have a lot of room left for God; we fill ourselves to the brim of things for ourselves, and with that the room left for God and his teachings is minimal. So stop that. Stop taking yourself so damn seriously. Life is too short to be miserable. No one makes it out of this world alive, and Praise the Lord for that because what’s coming in the next life, the eternal life, is going to be so much better than we can even comprehend!

Jesus liked to have fun. There is no doubt in my mind about that. When people think about God in terms of being so solemn and no-nonsense turn them to the first few verses of the second book of John. Jesus’s first miracle is to take an already drunk group of people and give them about 180 gallons of more wine. Good wine. And all of this occurred at a wedding. THAT is my type of wedding. I wouldn’t care if I had a plus one or not if I was there getting my groove, on drinking for days, celebrating a union of friends in the presence of Jesus. I seriously just smiled thinking about that.

I’d also like to point out the little bit of sass that Jesus gave his mother in verse 4. Jesus was sassy, ya’ll, and that is awesome, too. Sass is human. Jesus was human. But I digress. The stone jars that Jesus used to turn mere hydrogen and oxygen molecules into delicious fermented grapes were once used as a part of Jewish ceremonial washes. He took pure jars and used them to make wine. The Master of the Banquet drinks the newly created wine and goes over to the happy couple and says: “Normally people bring out the good stuff and get their guests drunk off that then bring them the cheap wine like Boone’s Farm. But you! You guys are class acts! You got everyone drunk off the cheap shit and then you brought in the high shelf items? Well played.” Obviously, I paraphrased that.

Can you imagine the amount of joy that was at that wedding? Can you imagine the face of Jesus filled with laughter at some joke a guest told? Or just the look on his face when the guests who were already drunk started drinking probably the best wine anyone could imagine? Pure joy. I can’t believe it was anything less at this point.

Christians take things too seriously. And we need to stop that. Jesus was a fun-loving guy. My Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding and served it to an already drunk crowd.

Celebrating a wedding for days with Jesus, drinking wine and laughing? That’s worth a hangover, my friends.

Anchors away.

Like eagles, ya’ll!

Let’s start this off by saying: I don’t own this youtube video. I don’t own the rights to Remember the Titans (although I wish I did), I’m just a huge fan of the movie and love the sweet, sweet voice of Craig Kirkwood singing ‘like Eagles, ya’ll!’

“But those who trust in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles!”

If this isn’t one of the most beautiful verses you’ve ever read, I don’t know what’s going through your mind. Think about how majestic eagles – or any birds for that matter – look when they are soaring freely through the sky. Maybe it’s the traveler in me, or the dreamer, that always envied the freedom that accompanies birds. Being able to fly and soar wherever they wanted and to be so free that there was nothing holding them down is such a foreign concept to me that I find myself sometimes becoming jealous of birds….birds, ya’ll. They’re dirty. Gorgeous and free, but dirty.

But let’s dive into this verse, look past the beauty of the simple imagery of being able to soar on wings like eagles. I’m talking about that little T-word that sometimes makes my anxiety rise a bit. Trust? That’s scary stuff, I’ll be the first to admit it. We all have skeletons in our closet that makes us question who we can trust, if we can trust, and there is always that little voice saying ‘what if?’ At least that’s how my mind works. What happens if I trust this person and it goes terribly wrong? What if they tell me to trust them but they can’t be trusted? How will that work out for me? How will that look? I can’t just be vulnerable like that to someone! If you haven’t noticed, my mind is a very fast-paced, jumbled, multitasking entity that I have.

I think what’s worse than the initial question of can I trust this person is the questions that come up after you’ve trusted someone. Trust is probably one of the most fragile things, at least in my opinion. If you break my trust, that’s not something I’m going to forget. I may forgive – after a while – but I won’t forget the fact that I trusted you with my emotions and you let me down. I can hold a grudge, I’m Darcy, remember? I will absolutely be the first one to admit that bouncing back from shattered trust is one of the hardest things ever.

The beauty of this verse is that we’re not being asked to put our trust in humans. Dirty, sinful, heart breaking humans are not who we are putting our trust in. We are putting our trust in the Lord. Jesus knows how shitty humans can be, he was one, and prior to contrary belief he probably did things that didn’t make his daddy very proud. He was tempted, he was broken, he was like you and I. But he overcame all of that for us. Think about that. Reread that last bit. We are putting our precious trust in a perfect being. He won’t let us down, he won’t mishandle our trust. Those times when we think he’s not with us, he is. Allowing us to learn lessons, allowing us to realize how broken the world is and it makes his perfectness even more gorgeous.

We are just as dirty as birds are. Let’s face it. We cuss, we gossip, we drink, we drive too fast, we’re lazy…We are no better than the next person. But God is willing to lift us up so we can soar, high above all the shit that plagues this messy world. All we need to do is trust in him. Like I said, I have things that have happened to me that make me question a lot. Trust is not something I do easily. But when it comes to putting my trust in the Lord there’s no question.

I pray that being able to trust God so explicitly will help me begin to be able to trust people again without that nagging ‘what-if’ hanging over my head. It won’t change overnight but that’s okay; I’ve got time.

Totally unrelated note, this gal is so excited about football season being right around the corner.

Anchors away, ya’ll!

“No,” said Darcy…

“I have made no such pretension. I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding— certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of other so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost is lost forever.”

I don’t quite remember the first time I read that quote and thought to myself ‘Sweet Jesus, I am the female version of Darcy.’ I had read it before and always loved it but there was one particular moment, whether it was when I was wrapped up in the book or the movie, that I realized that every aspect – every word – pretty much described me. Now, Darcy is probably one of my favorite characters from literature – mysterious, misunderstood, passionate, pretty much everything  you want a leading man to be – but coming to the realization that you are like him is a bit of a slap in the face. But I guess that could be considered admitting that you have faults and hey, that’s part of the quote.

Recently, I’ve been focusing on connecting back to my relationship with God. I would say there was a good month where every possible scenario that I thought would happen would obviously not happen. Maybe, ever. I’m a stubborn person and that pissed me off. I like imagining perfect little worlds that will miraculously work out though they never do. Ever. And that’s because God is in control. God has a sense of humor, people. Those moments where you want one thing and get another is pretty much the big guy’s way of saying, “Slow your roll, I’m the one in charge, remember?” I imagine he’s chuckling a bit.

It’s a hard pill to swallow when you realize what you want and what you’re going to get don’t measure up but usually something positive comes from it. Oh, so maybe right now I’m not in a relationship or rebuilding a friendship BUT I am working – every day – to be more Christ-like, I’m building the most important relationship and the likelihood that I would be doing this if there was some dumb guy in my life is minimal.

So, let’s round this back up to the ultimate swoon-worthy Mr. Darcy. Every aspect of that quote is relatable to my personality. My temper? Watch out, son. Can I hold a grudge? Like a bucket holds water. I give you my opinion and you do something else? Sucks to suck. These are the types of quirks that scare people away, especially people you want to be in a relationship with. These are the things you hide, or try to fix, or are ashamed of. But with God, he knows all these things. He knows that when someone pisses you off while driving you’re going to have an outburst. In my opinion, the best part about all of this is he can handle it, too. God can give you the strength to work through these things and become a stronger person but he’ll never judge you because you cuss or because you hold a grudge.

And you know what? Right now I’m content with striving to become a more grace-oriented, Christ-like woman. Because, there’s always hope for the future which is shaped by the steps we take in the present.

Spoiler Alert, Darcy ends up with the love of his life. And she loves him for who he is.
Boom.

Anchors away!

What You’re Getting Yourself Into

An excerpt from my daily journaling that happened this morning: This week I’ve fallen short. BIG time. But, thankfully, God still loves my messy self. I am still his and he is still mine. That’s enough for this lazy Saturday.

 

I love wine. I love coffee. I love Jesus. I love intellectual discussions. I probably drink more hard cider than someone should, especially when I’ve had a hard day. I like to workout for, like, a week at a time, and then I revert back to my lazy ways. I do like eating healthy, but I also am not going to turn down that extra bread stick (or cannoli, or slice of pizza, or oreo…you get the picture). I am immensely flawed, but what 22 year old isn’t? (You can insert Taylor Swift lyrics, I know I did) Saturday mornings are made for music, time with Jesus and strong coffee in bed. Life is messy, but it’s beautiful and I fully intend to make this blog about both of those things.

Some days I might start preaching about how wonderful the Lord truly is, and then other days I might be talking about how pissed off I am at him. (It’s okay to be pissed off at God, he can handle it.) But no matter what I will try to be positive because I’ve learned time and time again that life is too damn short to be negative.

 

Things I will do: Rant. Share. Be Vulnerable.

Things I will not do: Apologize for my opinions. I will try my hardest not to offend but, let’s be honest, it’s bound to happen. Judge.

 

Let’s take this ride together, see where it goes…

 

Anchors Away!